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Mens undies by `cybergranny:iconcybergranny:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Satire > Open


Men's undies are private
Disneyland,
offering big attractions
between candies and toffee apples.

Enchantment party for little kids,
paddling in cups of tea and splashing
with Nemo.

It's always warm and crowded inside.

From time to time there is a
ray of light, revealing new
adventures and exciting discoveries.

Mountains to climb and rapids to raft,
deep in the jungle of India's Delta, hides
the Temple of the Forbidden Eye,
embraced with million stars

After intense emotions
it's time to close for a moment;
sometimes there are even holidays,
near the beach, feeling marine breeze.
What a pleasure it is!


I'd like to be a pubic hair
©2009 `cybergranny
:iconcybergranny:

Author's Comments

* EDIT
I added some paragraphs
I changed the name from slips to undies, I thought that slips was the English word (we use slips in French and I thought that it was coming from English haha)*

I revised the Pubic hairs poems [link] to fit the theme of extended metaphor better.
I hope that it works this time. :sweat:

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:iconradiopooh:
`radioPooh Nov 9, 2009, 3:30:21 PM
pretty impressive writing .. told to you as another writer

--
So what if i'm a boy who likes to play with dolls / That does not make me Gay It makes me God
:iconspasm101:
*Spasm101 Nov 9, 2009, 5:57:38 PM
I mostly get it..just not that little "ray of light leads to new adventures" bit, or that "sometimes there's a vacation" bit..but that's cool. ^^; (<--sweat)

--
I've realized...
It's great to think outside the box. It's even better--fantastic, even--to think outside the triangular prism. But you're pretty close to a god if you can't think outside the sphere. Thus is my logic.
:iconshycraft:
~Shycraft Nov 9, 2009, 7:27:35 PM
Ha ha! Clever. I admit not following the "ray of light" line - perhaps a love interest?
As for going on vacation... I can guess...
:iconstormywolf:
~StormyWolf Nov 10, 2009, 5:11:13 AM
As with the others, the 'ray of light' line eludes me. Other than that, it's definitely an interesting metaphor :)
:iconcybergranny:
`cybergranny Nov 10, 2009, 9:55:43 AM
The ray of light is when the little opening in the slip is used or when they play with the slips. haha
And the vacation is when men go to bathroom or wash the slips ;p

--
There are no bored people only lazy people
:spank: :spank: :spank: me please :lick:

A BIG THANK TO =psivamp for the cute avatar she made me :grope:
:iconcybergranny:
`cybergranny Nov 10, 2009, 9:55:59 AM
Thanks a lot :hug:

--
There are no bored people only lazy people
:spank: :spank: :spank: me please :lick:

A BIG THANK TO =psivamp for the cute avatar she made me :grope:
:iconcybergranny:
`cybergranny Nov 10, 2009, 9:57:34 AM
:giggle:
The ray of light is when the little opening in the slip is used or when they play with the slips, but it could be love interest haha
And the vacation is when men go to bathroom or wash the slips ;p

--
There are no bored people only lazy people
:spank: :spank: :spank: me please :lick:

A BIG THANK TO =psivamp for the cute avatar she made me :grope:
:iconcybergranny:
`cybergranny Nov 10, 2009, 9:58:20 AM
Thanks :)
The ray of light is when the little opening in the slip is used or when they play with the slips. hehe or when some naughty things happen.

--
There are no bored people only lazy people
:spank: :spank: :spank: me please :lick:

A BIG THANK TO =psivamp for the cute avatar she made me :grope:
:iconmenacingsky:
~MenacingSky Nov 11, 2009, 12:11:01 PM
This is great! It's quite funny and an interesting metaphor. I like that you tack on "I'd like to be a pubic hair" to the end. It's such a blunt statement for a society that sees pubic hair as something dirty and unnatural. This whole poem shows how something as taboo and politely ignored as undies and genitals are natural and normal and not something scary or wrong. Good stuff! =D

--
"komm, geh mit mir"
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